Top Tips for Stress-Free Hospitality
There are a million reasons not to entertain.
“My apartment is too small . . ."
"I’m just not that good of a cook . . ."
"I don’t know enough people to invite . . ."
"I don’t have enough money.”
But none of these are reasons why you shouldn’t invite friends over.
When you invite friends over, you don’t need to worry about making thing super fancy or finessed. You don’t need to worry about having enough money to buy a ton of wine or classy food. Think about it this way: you’re simply inviting people to visit you, to enjoy a meal or game night or a study session with you in your space. As part of this, maybe you cook some food. Maybe you pour a few drinks. Maybe you set out chips and salsa or order a pizza. It doesn’t matter. You’re offering them your hospitality.
Now we’ve got that out of the way, here are seven of my favorite tips on inviting friends over.
1. Find a reason.
You don’t need a super-special occasion to have people over, but you should frame the invitation around something. A Game Night. The Super Bowl (upcoming!). Or my personal favorite: Guinea Pig Night (also known as “come-try-these-new-recipes-I’m-testing-for-my-blog”). Having a specific reason helps you plan the gathering, from the people you’ll invite to the activities you’ll do to the food you’ll have. If you can’t think of one, celebrating someone’s unbirthday is a great all-purpose occasion, good for 364 days of the year!
2. Invite people who will get along.
When you’re creating your guest list, look at it critically. Will people gel? Will they have enough in common to have a conversation without you babysitting the discussion? If you’re nervous about keeping the chat flowing, make sure to invite a couple of particularly extroverted people who will naturally take care of it for you!
3. Make the invitation personal.
Facebook events work well for large public events, but when you’re planning a gathering and you actually care about specific people showing up, social media invitations are rarely effective. Decide who you want to invite and reach out to them personally. Make sure they know that you’re specially planning this event, and you’d really love for them to come. People always appreciate individual invitations—it makes them feel special!—and chances are that if they’ve personally told you they’ll come, they’ll actually be there.
4. Think creatively about the food.
Not every gathering you host demands a five-course meal. You can do a table of snacks or serve a few desserts and some drinks. Play to your strengths. If cooking isn’t your thing, put out some platters of chips and crackers with dips and cheeses and maybe some fruits and veggies on the side. If you’re on a budget, make it a potluck and have everyone bring something—that’s okay too!
And if you decide to cook but are worried about getting everything ready on time, plan wisely and stick to slow-cooked foods that are easily made in bulk: large cuts of meat that you can braise and hold in the oven, soups that can simmer in a crock pot, or casseroles that can hang out under tinfoil. Don’t feel the pressure to cook and plate a perfect meal. People love a buffet.
5. Prep wisely.
Don’t stress yourself out trying to get everything ready in the last hour before your guests arrive. A few days ahead, make a list of everything you need to do to prepare and decide when to do them. Block out time for you to get yourself ready, too—that way you won’t be in the shower when the first guest arrives!
6. Always have extra!
Whether you’re serving chips and dip or beouf bourginon, prepare for more than you think you’ll need. Additional people might show up. People might be super hungry. A dish might be a bigger hit than you were expecting. Running out of food is no fun, and you don’t want to stress about it. Plan to have extra, and take that worry off your plate.
7. Create a welcoming space.
It’s the little touches that make people feel comfortable in your space immediately. Open the door and personally welcome each guest with a huge smile as they arrive. Have plenty of pillows for people to lounge on and lots of plates and glasses set out. Maybe you light a candle. Maybe you have some card games sitting out. Always have music playing in the background—it sets the vibe.
BONUS: Relax!
Once the party starts, focus on enjoying the people and the fun. You’ll have a better time, and chances are, if your guests sense that you’re having a good time, they’ll feel relaxed and have a good time, too!
You don’t need to be Jay Gatsby pouring bottles of champagne or Martha Stewart sending people home with bags of chocolate bonbons to host a successful gathering. All you need is to be is yourself, extending some genuine hospitality. Plan smartly and think ahead to minimize stress, but don’t overthink it. You’re just having a few friends over.
Originally posted January 26, 2020.
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